Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
