**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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