I hate your face
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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