big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
