Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
