whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
