im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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