and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
