Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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