Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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