yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
