id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
