let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
