my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
