I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
