if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
