Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
