Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
