brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't deserve a penis
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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