Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
