I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
