I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
