he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize