No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
