hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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