Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
