I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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