Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
