I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
