I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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