I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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