I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
