in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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