No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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