I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am one with the molecules
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
