Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
