ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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