he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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