Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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