do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
