PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
