i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
