apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
