We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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