Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
