My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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