I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
