Are we in a gay sports bar?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
