WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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