Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
