If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
