Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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