didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
