i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
